Here It Goes (Again)

Warning: This is a long one. 

There are two things in life that I am very resilient with, dieting and blogging. Now being resilient is a very good thing, because you can bounce back easily. I am happy that I have not given up on either but not happy that I cannot make a habit or commitment to either.

So here I am again. Each time I say, 
"This time is going to be different." 
I think of my diet I started two weeks ago and think through what went right and what went wrong. 
Each time I start again I change something- 
in hopes that that change will be the key. 
That I will figure out my weight loss success. 

Then there's blogging. 
The Lord knows I can talk, but for some reason I just never feel like saying anything. 
But when it comes to my body and my diet, and especially my walk with the Savior- I definitely have a lot to say.

This part is a bit nerve-wracking, for I am really putting it all out there. But this journey is very important to me, this is a spiritual journey more than anything else. 

Here goes the 1st confession. 
I have always prayed to God before I've tried to make a healthy lifestyle change, but only kinda. 

What I mean by this 'kinda' is that I would say a quick,

"Please Lord help me loose this weight, if it be your will- Amen." 

I guess in the back of my head I was giving myself insurance. I was scared that if I prayed right and fully relied on God and went to Him correctly and humbly and didn't loose the weight/become healthy then I would have nowhere else to go. I was scared to stay the same.
I was scared to fully rely on God. 

Here's why this time is actually different. 
I'm not just trying some fad diet, I'm really wanting to make a realistic lifestyle change. And the most important difference of all is that I am putting God first, like He should be in everything we do. 

" Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;" 

1 Corinthians 6:19

And now to inject you with more truth,
 I have always known these things. 
I know my body is a temple of God, 
I know that if I really want to succeed in something it must be through him. 
I know that by me not loving myself is an insult toward a creation of God. 
But I have allowed habits to form and sit in. 

It is wrong for me to hate myself and constantly compare myself and complain about the way I am. 

I have allowed these habits to distance me from God. 

I have allowed the scale to become an idol.

I am on a journey to become healthy.

To love myself the way He does. 

To allow God to use me the way I was created for. 

To not limit God.  

So here it goes again. 

By the way this blog is inspired by many wonderful women. 

One can be found here